1. One man named Bush will sport a new uniform, but sorry for those who hate President Bush, this Bush will be Reggie Bush.

2. By the end of 2006, less than 100,000 U.S. soldiers will be in Iraq unless Mac’s #7 comes true, or if it is the United States who bombs Iran’s nuclear facilities. If either happens, all bets are off.

3. At least 8 different rumors concerning the death of Osama Bin Laden will be reported while at most one video or audio message will be released by Bin Laden. Hopefully each one will be reported here; some even laughed at.

4. I will continue to lose hair, but only on my head which is the only place I really want hair anyways. Back hair will continue to grow. Mother’s side my ass!

5. Katie Couric will finally be revealed as a 70 person formerly named Tom Snyder. Snyder escaped the Special Olympics in 1956 after winning the 400-meter relay . . . with himself.

6. The Dallas Stars will win the 2006 Stanley Cup.

7. The quagmire in Bosnia will continue as the UN and NATO will be unable to establish a sovereign, democratic government. Meanwhile Iraq will be a huge success in forming a new government while politicos will continue to call it a quagmire.

8. Michael Moore will have a change of heart and instead of making a documentary concerning anything bashing President Bush, he will film a documentary on the positives of a socialist society with a special cameo from Hugo Chavez. Dan Rather will back up the false headlines used by Moore by calling them “fake but accurate.”

9. I will get less hate email than positive email, but I’m rather close at evening the score now.

10. Another hurricane season and another wave of environmentalists blaming the storms of President Bush, all the while believing the entire world climate can change in five or six years.

11. Politicians who rallied against opening up ANWR for oil production will blame high gas prices on President Bush for not doing enough to force OPEC to lower prices.

That’s it for now. I’m all tapped out.